Real Life Equations
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
* Smart boss + smart employee = profit
* Smart boss + dumb employee = production
* Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
* Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
* Smart man + smart woman = romance
* Smart man + dumb woman = affair
* Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
* Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
HAPPINESS
* To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
* To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
LONGEVITY
* Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
* Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.
1 Comments:
I've seen this one befre, but it still makes me laugh everytime I read it.
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