Tormented
I just found some photographs of some time ago... 2 years ago or something - I am extremely bad at doing the whole photo album and scrapbooking thing - and I got this knot on my throat. Darn, have I let myself go to waste. I am obese and old now... in a mere 2 years...
I blame it on the medication and stupid birth control pills (treatment for ovarian cysts), but that's not the cause... sure, I gained a lack of sleep (I was only able to sleep for like 3 hrs per night, and not all in one go) and as a result I would go watch late night TV and eat, but I also have not done anything to try to at least maintain my weight in order. I completely stopped going to the gym, perhaps because the gym was 45 minutes away but mainly because I am not a gym person. I am an outdoors gal. Give me soccer games on rainy days, kicks to my knees, scraped elbows, and a slammed ball to my chest. But still, even though I enjoy that so much, I have not pressed my husband to do something like that with me. I just simply remain at home, eating, eating, eating.
Energy levels are at an all-time low. I stopped taking the medication (the lack of sleep was driving me crazy and angry) and I have pain from time-to-time but heck, I rather sleep and not have to go vomit every night. So I sleep more now, the problem is... I sleep too much and I still feel like it is not enough. I go to bed at 10:30pm maybe slightly later if there is something good on TV, and then by 7:30am I still can't get up. So even if I go to bed at midnight I still get more than 7 hrs but that is not cutting it. Aren't adults supposed to be fine with at least 6 hours of sleep? Only children need 8 or more hours! Last weekend, Saturday night, I went to bed at 10:09pm and woke up Sunday at 2:00.... PM! 16 Frickin' Hours! And I was still groggy.
So now I am a Fat, Lazy woman. What's next? Fat, Lazy, and Psychotic? Hmmm... maybe.
