So a bit of more confusion
So why such a freak, I am? (I think I better practice more of my Yoda...)
Had another one of those nights but not with 'Johnny' this time, but rather a friend who shall remain anonymous just so I do not get anyone in any trouble, especially myself. It was simply raw, rough, steamy material. The sort you'd find at your 3 a.m. hotel ppv channel. How do I know this? C'mon, I've been an adult for a rather long time... and everyone's got to see one of those at least once in life. I guess our way of saying, "I ain't doing it wrong after all."
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while, the blinking of computer lights drawing a nice greenish shine into it. I realized that I had lost track of time. My eyes had been tired and although sleepy, I had not wanted to wake up my hubby by getting into bed, so I simply decided to take a nap on the futon. I remember thinking about what I had to do for one of my projects and then... there I was, screaming and squirming with glee. There was no point, no introductory play of events, simply images, clips. And it was me... I know myself.
Now, the fact that I was with my friend does not bother me much. I find him cute... heh... actually he's rather sexy. I just like to talk or surround myself with this sort of people... the type I just want to pound upon and force into submission while they whisper my name with that manly voice of theirs... or the wickedly flirtatious gal that I just want to coo and please until they lose themselves in my ministrations. Dream or not, that is what I seek. And that is what I find.
But... why?
I live a normal life. Normal to everyday standards - I study, I work, I make money, I waste money, I am of my home, I am of my husband... I laugh, I cry, I eat, I sleep, I bathe... and the more mundane parts of the day.
I do not feel overly disillusioned. Marriage is good, normal. We are better halves and understand one another for the most part. Arguments are good too. The stubborn kind in which we glare at one another only to end up cracking up about it minutes later.
Life is good... so then... why?
What is wrong with my putrid mind?
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