Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Hugs


I was in a house that resembled my Grandmother’s in the colors, size, and the way that the curtains let all the light into the living room... but the furniture was different and placed in opposite sides from where she usually has it.

But I guess it was her house. I remember standing in the kitchen and looking across the serving bar and staring a several people. “Hola!” they said and I walked to the living area. Suddenly I was next to a big man, who may have been one of my uncles (by marriage). I have not seen many of my relatives for years so I only have hazy images of them in my head from when they were sort of young. I am guessing they haven’t changed much, except from the age and weight.

I remember feeling a little out-of-place especially when he reached for me and pulled me to him. He began to give me a big bear hug and I was almost seated on his lap since he had not gotten up from the sofa. I felt his warm cheek against mine and his big arms all around me, squeezing tightly. He was laughing openly and kept squeezing and wobbling around while giving me that hug. I guess I felt a cat does when a toddler tries to hold it all uncomfortably.

Then there was nothing more. My dream continued in black and I finally woke up when husband was off to work.

Strange dream.

I felt uncomfortable while having it. I suppose it was the hug.

I do not like hugs. Never have. They feel strange... awkward and distant. Fake. I suppose it has to do with things that happened to me as a child. It is because of this that I hardly ever hug people. I do not like to snuggle either... reminds me too much of hugs. Sure, I see a friend and I go and pat him or her on the back while pretending to give a kiss on the cheek by simply pressing cheek-by-cheek; that’s a sort of hug, right?

I hug my mom, loosely. I don’t really hug my sister, she’s so small and thin that I feel like I will break her. Dad, I don’t hug him at all; a kiss on the cheek yeah but that’s all. I love my immediate family and we are close, but I just don’t hug them much. Kisses are better.

Kisses I will do, pseudo kisses even more (those cheek hovering ones).

But only to people I know.

Hugs... *shudders* They suffocate.

2 Comments:

At 8:27 AM, Blogger Darv said...

"Kisses I will do, pseudo kisses even more (those cheek hovering ones)."

Is that kind of like one of those "European kiss over the shoulder" greetings? I have done those to people just to goof around =p. I am a Hug person. I give out bear hugs of death. ^_^

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger Kitty said...

Hm, no sure... The one where you lean forward to 'kiss' but don't realy kiss. Your cheeks only make the motions but no actual kiss or touch.

 

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